Note – “Dudes who won’t wear masks” is quoted from an Atlantic headline.
It seems pretty simple, doesn’t it? Public health experts agree that wearing a mask prevents the spread of Covid-19. The CDC has issued guidelines on what the general public needs to know and it includes wearing masks. Still not convinced? Here’s a graph showing what happens when people do and don’t wear a mask.
Yet not everyone agrees with this conclusion — and this is no small disagreement. For the vast majority of people on the planet, this pandemic is wrecking havoc on the individual and public physio, psycho, social and economic health.
And for those of us living with chronic illness, most likely the heavy burden of protecting your health in this Pandemic is weighing you down. In addition to age related factors, Covid-19 can devastate the immuno suppressed , it’s especially hard on those who have trouble fighting infection due to illness or other causes.
A simple virus can be a major setback if you live with chronic illness. Because of that, some’ ‘self quarantine” to minimize exposure to contagious disease. Others choose to and are more able to continue to be engaged in the world, in person.
But what happens when you’ve worked hard in a job that requires you to show up while living with a compromised body – – but other people are unwilling to do what it takes to keep everyone safe? What happens when organizational leadership sets the expectation that everyone mask up but expectation goes ignored?
What happens when the choice is no longer yours to make? Let me tell you about Barbara (not her name, of course).
Barbara is a Deputy Director in a Agency (that will go unnamed). In August 2020, after a three month shutdown, leadership sent a memo saying that their facility would reopen and all employees had to wear masks. Barbara felt comfortable returning to the work site knowing that at least minimum standards would be met. Masks were required.
She was wrong. Very few were wearing masks as they walked in narrow corridors, shared crowded elevators and showed up in meetings. “I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach,” she told me. She was depressed and depression always leaves her feeling helpless.
Barbara lives with several chronic illnesses and her asthma had been particularly bad over the last year. She’s literally given up her personal life during this time so she could muster enough energy to do her job well. But when people who aren’t on her team entered her office suite without a mask, depression morphed into anger. One person on her team is immuno-compromised, another lives with a heart condition and the 3rd takes care of an elderly parent. That’s when her fighting spirit kicked in. “I felt like a Momma protecting my cubs” — though the 4 people on her team are her age or older). Now she could see action she could take to protect them and her as best she could.
She put a sign on their door saying, “anyone entering must wear a mask for the safety of others” and left disposable masks and hand sanitizer. It worked. Everyone complied. When the most senior person in the building came in and forgot to wear a mask, he noticed the second sign that she’d placed inside and smiled as he reached for a mask.
Another situation that came up was the weekly meeting in a windowless office with colleagues and senior leaders. At the first meeting back, she was at a table with 9 out of 10 who weren’t masked and chairs touching each other. What could she say? This was the group who had issued the guidelines. She left feeling like she was struggling to breathe.
A 3rd situation came up in meeting with her boss in his office. She knows him well so she felt comfortable asking him to put a mask on. He ignored her. When she brought it up again, reminding him that masks were ‘required’, she got his “stone face” (her words).
As we talked, Barbara noticed her fear, felt her powerlessness and then her resilience. She saw options. She felt agency.
The weekly meeting is in another building and she told them rather than waste time, she’d video conference in. Before her next meeting with her boss in his office, she’d send a note saying that she didn’t feel comfortable meeting in person unless they both wore masks. And if he wasn’t comfortable with that, they would video conference.
Problems solved? Yes. No. Barbara is still working in a facility with over 500 people, most of whom aren’t complying with any of the generally recognized health standards around COvid-19 safety. She’s in an area of the country where the numbers are dangerously high. She has trouble breathing and the mask aggravates this. But if she wants to keep her job, she cannot work virtually unless the facility goes remote. (Remember, she works for the Federal government). Barbara is so tired of being sick and tired (see my post on Fannie Lou Hammer’s famous quote) .
Here’s the thing about it. Barbara has enough power in her position at her job to take limited precautions for her health. But what about all those who don’t have the power? They’re relying on others and especially leadership (like those at Barbara’s office) to put their words into action and, where possible, to do the best they can to protect us all.
As I write this, I notice my fear and sadness about the state of our ‘union” deep in my core. I also sense my resilience but it’s struggling right now. What do you notice? How are you doing?