when affirmation isn't enough

Last week, I was feeling down in the dumps.  I couldn’t shake my  mood.  I tried my usual bag of tricks but I couldn’t lift myself out of  gloom, which is not typical at all for me.  Finally, on my weekly call with my Focusing partner, I sensed it:  I actually don’t like myself when I’m sick and I’ve been sick (chronic and acute stuff) a lot lately.  I easily understood why I feel this way  —  I’m exceedingly frustrated with me and everyone around me for what I can’t do.

I thought I could change this with this reminder: Love yourself when you are sick.That “affirmation” reminder worked for a day–though I think I just felt better having Focused on it.   But then the feelings crept back in when I developed yet another virus.  My  affirmation wasn’t helping me a bit.  It wasn’t “dialing into a channel” I could listen to.

It was when I was exploring with a client the  nagging wish to regain her former, healthy life that the light bulb when off.   She knew techniques  to stop the thought once  it crept in but she struggled to shift out of that space that held her in psychic pain.

I suggested she try this:

1.  Set an Intention for yourself –:  e.g., I want to focus on the positive things I can do to create work for myself today.

2. When you notice you’re  feeling badly–  about yourself or others — for no identifiable reason, reflect back on what has happened recently- was there a trigger?  Write  down what happened.

3.  What did you think with this event?  Write that down.

4.  Reflect on your intention.  What thoughts can you put in place to allow you to more fully fulfill your intention?

5.  Create an action — something you can do —  that will help you solidify these re framed thoughts inside your being.

5.  Give yourself a day.  Review results.

 

I did it myself and found it remarkably helpful.  So did she.  Try it and let me know how it goes.   Building our sense of well being in the face of chronic health problems is a marathon, not a sprint.  And there’s no science as far as I’m concerned to doing it – it’s just trying one thing and then another.