This past Friday I missed an appointment with a client because I spent two hours waiting to see a hand surgeon about an infection in my thumb.
By the time I saw him, the tears were welling in my eyes. Nope –I don’t cry when I’m angry. This experience brought back the memories full force of the 10 years that I spent too much time each day waiting for health care providers and waiting for tests.
I felt impotent and powerless and hated this waste of my time as much as I hated feeling sick.
Believe me. I understand that physicians have conflicting demands and even the best can’t control their schedule all the time. But that doesn’t mean I have to suffer because of this. Early on in living with chronic illnesses I realized how much I hate waiting for people — and resent when others make me late. I suggest to my clients that if a doctor isn’t meeting your “basic” needs, leave. (Unless, of course, this is the only fish in your sea — and then negotiate if possible.)
This isn’t a marriage, a friendship or your job– it’s a relationship you can leave without feeling you should have tried harder. Living with your health is difficult enough – you shouldn’t have to feel frustrated by your doctor running late all the time.
Barbara K. says
As someone who is congenitally incapable of being late, I share your annoyance with doctors who keep me waiting. However, I see an up-side to this. If my doctor is keeping me waiting because he is spending time actually talking to another patient, then I can expect (and ask for) the same kind of commitment from her to spend time listening to me and answering my many questions.
Sarah M. says
Experience in my rheumatologist’s waiting room taught me that the reason he occasionally runs late is that patients (many of them over 65) drive long distances to a city with which they are unfamiliar to see him. If a family has driven a loved one two hours and are twenty minutes late because they misjudged the traffic, then no, they don’t lose the appointment; he sees them anyway and gives them full attention. I respect that. I feel he would do the same for me if I were unavoidably delayed, and I always get full attention. For my part, I request appointments near the beginning of the day–the fewer the appointments before mine, the lower the chances of timing snafus.
Rosalind says
Thanks to both of you for responding. I see your point, Barbara, that it does mean that the doctor is listening and spending time. And I see your point, Sarah, that patients are late. And I’m glad the doctor is spending time listening but they should book accordingly. I’ve consulted to physicians and know very well how difficult a marketplace it is for them — and that they do have to overbook their schedules because of “no-shows”. I just know that my time is valuable, too. I treat my clients with respect to their time and want to be treated the same way by physicians. I think that we, the patient population, particularly the chronic illness patient population who spends so much time going to doctors, have to demand it – or it won’t change.