For the past 24 hours, all of my conversation and emails have touched on (and sometimes consumed) the surprising U.S. election results. This includes friends and family, clients and colleagues, social media friends, even people I passed in contact briefly. They’ve shared this in common: reactions that vary from despair and depression, shock and fear, bewilderment.
Obviously, there are many who are happy today. But in my small space in this world, I didn’t come in direct contact with any such person. I did hear that my dog walker’s 9 year old son burst into tears when he heard that Trump had won. My client, who never pays attention to anything unrelated to her health, was angry people were so preoccupied with this issue. A woman in my Pilates class, who shares often about her depression, was utterly demoralized and didn’t want to get out of bed. A friend whom I’ve admired for her professional achievements, emailed that she’s more determined than ever to increase her civic engagement.
There it is again. Facing the unexpected and difficult, we show up with tools developed over a lifetime. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it’s not so pretty.
How did I respond? It became increasingly painful to watch the election returns as the story became obvious. Feeling miserable and helpless, I went to sleep early. I realized years ago, that I hate wasting my time or energy on something I can’t do anything about. I found some comfort yesterday that at least one person whom I supported would win in the Senate race. Maggie Hassan has a long history of advocating for the disenfranchised and, in particular, the disabled. A ray of sun.
But the rest feels dark. Donald Trump has been and continues to be the epitome of unpredictable (and unlikable) for me. When he speaks, I’m back in 6th grade facing the schoolyard bully whom I feared and hated. I have to work to bring myself out of that space and back to my present reality. That’s what unpredictable can do to you — it can throw you off balance. You might even fall, as I do too frequently. That’s why I practice Tai Chi and Pilates. They’re a resource I draw on to help me mentally and physically face the inevitable unpredictable and unexpected. I know it won’t prevent it from happening but I FEEL more prepared. Most of the time, that’s enough to help me to take more risks and walk with a little more confidence.
Like it or not, we’re going to face the unexpected and unpredictable. The unpredictable always makes me uncomfortable and I know that I need to draw on all my resources. Living with unpredictable and often debilitating chronic illness has taught me to notice where I can take charge and what’s not worth wasting my resources on. The more you can practice this, the more quickly you can call it up when you need it.
I don’t expect to feel good about what lies ahead in American politics or policies. I just hope my feet stay on the ground as I wade through the mud.
What response did you have to this election? What response do you want to have?
Shirley says
Your post should have been sent 8 years ago when Obama was elected! That is when I was devastated and depressed. The havoc he has wreaked upon America since being elected is second to none. To think you believe all of the false negative media about Donald Trump is appalling! The man has his faults – but not to the extent the liberal press has lied about. Hillary Clinton on the other hand is not squeaky clean – she has left bodies in her wake. I stayed up to watch the election results and couldn’t be happier for America! It was not lost on me that Hillary postponed her concession speech until the next day in the middle of the morning when many hard-working people could not attend. She is a she-devil and God has delivered us from her. My auto-immune disease was worsened by the socialist and criminal acts of the current administration. The Constitution is meant to protect the least of our brethren – the unborn, the elderly and yes the sick and frail. This election result sends me into euphoria that now at last the weakest of our society will be protected by the law! Take another look at reality and embrace the new HOPE AND CHANGE the Trump/Pence executive branch will bless this nation with.
Rosalind says
Shirley – You’re right that this post could have been written 8 years ago and that’s not lost on me at all. My role as coach is not to to get into the ‘content’ of anyone’s story — especially not to preach mine. It’s irrelevant to the conversation I”m proposing. That’s why I tried not to focus on the specifics of the politics but on our responses and what we do when faced with what we didn’t expect.
Alyson says
Rosalind, I appreciate your post and agree with everything you said. I understand that we are a divided country and that many people are thrilled with the election results, but I don’t appreciate having salt rubbed in my wounds by the “winners” calling Obama and H Clinton nasty names. That’s just childish and uncalled-for. I certainly didn’t do that to those who “lost” in 2008 and 2012. We need to come together, somehow, and not vilify each other.
I couldn’t sleep at all Tues night, and that really aggravated my fatigue. I was having heart arrhythmia all day yesterday. Dealing with the unpredictable is very hard–has been since I was a child and first became ill and no one knew what was wrong with me. I think it’s one of the hardest things about a chronic illness.
Thank you for all of your posts.