I understand if you’re not interested in reading one more post about resilience. I get it if you’re not feeling particularly resilient today and this is just one more thing that you don’t seem to be getting right …
But if you’re at all interested in this idea, don’t stop reading. Because I want to share a new take on the word that just might brighten your day – – at least it did for me because it put a positive spin on my daily slog with difficult health.
Let’s start with the fundamentals, the dictionary Merriam‑Webster, definition “…resilience is the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens.”
I’ve been writing about this for years because I believe it’s a key ingredient in the stew that makes it possible to adapt to the myriad of difficulties that come from living with difficult chronic health health. Honestly? I’m not sure what I believe about the part resilience plays in restoring strength or health. But I’m convinced that being resilient makes it much easier to restore success.
Now, findings from a new study by Gerontologist supports the idea that, “…people who are more resilient by nature are less likely to let a chronic illness disrupt their daily lives “. But here’s the kicker: “…according to The New York Times, age, health, and financial status alone cannot fully explain the disparities of why some individuals are more resilient than others. Study author Lydia Manning, a gerontologist at Concordia University Chicago, says that “…resilience is usually acquired during ‘moments of adversity,’ noting also that ‘everybody has the capacity for resilience’.”
Huh? Does that mean that chronic illness, clearly an adverse experience, can stimulate resilience in a person? Now, that’s intriguing, isn’t it? Also I like the idea that each of us has the capacity for resilience. I’m going to let these ideas percolate for a while.
I sincerely hope that you find some measure of resilience, strength and hope during this holiday season. This time of year puts those of us with weakened energy to the test, doesn’t it?
Debra says
Indeed, chronic illness can make people much more resilient! It can also make them more compassionate, empathetic, and wise. It helps them understand what is important in life (family, friends, giving back), not materialism, which only leads to unhappiness. It helps them live in the moment rather than living for the future. Chronic illness can lead toward living a more spiritual life, rather than a superficial life.
Most important, people who live with chronic illness can be the greatest source of support to others who experience health crises or are having trouble coping with the health challenges of aging.
Kelly Connor says
I enjoy reading your articles, Rosalind and I wish you a resilient holiday season!
Kelly Connor
Rosalind says
Thanks for writing, Kelly, and letting me know. I wish you the same!
Rosalind says
HI Debra – Oddly I don’t agree that (people with chronic health conditions) are necessarily more empathetic. A client just described that she has less patience than ever for other people’s ‘issues’ that can seem small relative to her own. I’ve seen that response in myself. But I have seen that it can increase a person’s yearning for a spiritual life.
Thanks for sharing. This is an interesting thread and I hope others join in.
Debra says
Hi Rosalind, I see what you’re saying about people with chronic illness feeling impatient with other people’s less serious problems.
In fact, I think that my friends who obsess about looking older, feeling fat, and having wrinkles are wasting their lives away. I tell them that, too! I have two friends who want to have cosmetic eyelid surgery, and I tell them that they are nuts. I’m about to have my sixth non-elective surgery in less than four years, and I can’t imagine choosing to have an elective surgery like they are considering. I hope that this form of inpatience prevents my friends from making bad decisions about their health or wasting their mental energy on unimportant things, like looking older.
But, I’m extremely patient with people who are starting to experience health problems for the first time in middle-age. People know that they can talk to me safely about these issues, and they know that I will have empathy and time for them.
Rosalind says
It sounds like you know what you can and can’t listen to and the people around you know as well. Good for you that you’ve created that space. We all have our limits around our patience. I understand your impatience and it sounds to me like you’ve done a great job being clear with others.