When I woke in the middle of the night for the 3rd time to go to the bathroom (incontinence again!), I found myself muttering. Of course, the middle of the night is the worst time to think about anything, and I was panicking about what wouldn’t get done today. One thing I’m good at is capitalizing on what happens to me and using it in my work. Hence, today’s post.
It’s a new year and you’ve probably made plenty of useless resolutions. Why not think about this?
What can you do to GET RID OF THE SHOULD and FOCUS ON THE CAN DO? I ask you, what can be more important than this when you live with unpredictable health?
It doesn’t matter whether you’re self-employed, employed by other or unemployed. Setting expectations that you can meet is critical to creating satisfaction — your own and others.
Let’s look at my own recent experience. Two weeks ago, I’d planned to write a blog post before I started my week vacation. When time was running out and my ‘to do’ list was still pretty hefty, I ditched whatever wasn’t a ‘must do’. I went into vacation feeling good about taking the time off. Yup. You could say that I felt satisfied with myself.
On my return, I was determined to get the blog post done because it’s my policy that no more than two weeks pass between posts. But other work had piled up and my health took a nose dive (not major but annoying and time consuming).
Which is why I went to bed last night very tired from my recent health issues and frustrated, angry and feeling sorry for myself about the things that weren’t getting done. I desperately needed an ‘expectation re set.’
Whether you’re dealing with your boss, colleagues, those you supervise, clients or your self. You fall into a black hole focusing on what you can not do rather than figuring out what you are able to do right now.
I developed an exercise called The Pulse for my clients and I’ve described it in detail in my Workbook, Keep Working with Chronic Illness. The Pulse is designed to help you stop with your stories, the blame, etc., and put your energy on what’s going on.
How are you doing with setting expectations that you can meet? Are you willing to do a re-set when it’s necessary? It’s not easy but can you plan for what it will take to do this?
OK. I’m moving on in my ‘to do’ list. How’s today going for you?
Aimie says
Even though the pulse is not my favorite task to do . It does work. It slows me down. It taps in to what my thoughts and feelings. Also by doing this it allows to see how I am feeling physically. I am able to set priorities and not feel awful that I can not get everything done in one day.
Rosalind says
I’m delighted to hear that, Aimie. You’re certainly someone who has figured out how to get the maximum with all sort of challenges!
Ricky Buchanan says
I’m having trouble finding the line between “low expectations which don’t challenge me” and “high expectations I can’t meet”… especially at the moment when my health seems more unpredictable than usual.
Ellen says
What cracks me up is when people who are not dealing with a chronic illness try to say they have the same level of decisions to make. It is so hard to explain the frustration that comes from the time spent keeping yourself well enough to go to work. Someone once said to me it was like having a part time job with a very demanding boss. If you say no to this boss or ignore his requests you will regret it. So we all learn the hard way that this part time boss needs to be happy or none of the other things will get accomplished.
Rosalind says
That’s a great way to view this – it’s the boss you never get rid of. I see a blog post topic, here, Ellen. Thanks for your comment.
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