I got an email pointing out that I don’t have pain resources on my website. This person said she wanted to hire me to coach her in finding work. But, she wrote, I obviously don’t know anything about living with pain since it’s missing from my site.
She’s right that there’s not enough on my website or my blog about my work with people with chronic pain conditions. Nor do I have enough good resources.
The truth is that I’m immersed in several projects relating to people living with chronic pain conditions and have come across terrific resources. But I haven’t posted this even though I know that I should. As an entrepreneur whose livelihood springs from web-based marketing, I’m doing an inadequate job of promoting my business. And this critical to getting new clients.
I know this and, although I’m not happy about it, it’s a decision made with intention. I choose not to make the time because I’ve set my priorities. And right now, this isn’t at the top of the list.
How about you? How many tasks are waiting to get done and slide further down the ‘to do” list? Yikes, it’s especially true when holiday mode is in full gear. That list grows so many pages I lose count and my energy saps just looking at it.
Do you beat yourself up, even just a little, when you think of what you haven’t done? It’s so easy to do that but what a waste of time and your limited energy!
Yes, healthy people struggle with their ‘to do’ list also. But living with chronic health challenges makes it that much harder to get through the list. There’s not much you can do anything about the fact that you’re never sure if you’ll wake up feeling worse or better than when you went to sleep. This often means that you can’t be sure what you’ll be able to get done on a given day. That’s when you’ve got to reach into your inner tool box for what you can do.
Do you keep this tool handy? “I can take charge of the way I look at this!”
As you think about what you have to do, ask yourself: What’s going to help me get through just this day? What is most important to you– meeting the project deadline or going out with friends to celebrate the season? Do you have to write that last memo knowing that you won’t have time to exercise or food shop? What will you have to ‘give up’ if you go to one more store to buy those gifts?
Whatever you choose, choose with intention, so you feel in your gut that you’re making the choice.
We all make mistakes. We all act without thought. At the end of the day, forgiveness is powerful. Especially when the person you forgive is you.
How’s it going for you?
Ricky Buchanan says
Oh cripes yes!
Despite all my computerised tools I prefer an A5-size spiral bound hardback ruled notebook which I use as my “to do” list! This is what GTD people would call my “universal capture” thing – I carry it *everywhere* with me and it holds any un-dated task (dated tasks go in my computer calendar) plus anything else that’s going to go into my computer but isn’t there yet such as address book entries, calendar dates, etc., and if I’m given a sheet of paper or business card etc. I tuck it inside the book as well until it’s dealt with or properly scanned/filed. Once I have a moment in front of the computer I transcribe whatever is meant for that and cross it out of the notebook. I can also draw things, make arrows between items, and such because it’s not computerised and I find that helps me personally.
I also have a file in my computer labelled “Ideas” which is for all those “I should do this one day …” tasks which I don’t want to forget but which aren’t quite to-do list material. If somebody stays in the book and isn’t crossed out for a long time I check if it should be moved to the Ideas file. The advantage for me of separating the two is that things in the “Ideas” file are just stuff it might be nice to do sometime in the future, they’re not things that I feel like I “should” have done so they don’t inspire the sort of vague guilt feelings that I find I get if things languish long in the “to do” book!
I have made lots of changes this year in my priorities and things such as my websites that would previously have been in my “must do” list are now in the “ideas” list, at least mentally. I’ve been enjoying craft work and some spring cleaning and spending time with friends and other non-computer things while my health permits. I’m lucky that my financial situation permits these type of things since I have a disability pension which is enough to live on if I’m very careful – I treasue the ability to do things because I love them.
Lotty says
I have arthritis and, while I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, it has taught me some new skills, number one of which was to prioritise and not worry about prioritising. Annoyingly, now I’m on good meds and the pain is more background noise I’m back to beating myself up over things not done. Thanks for your post, a good reminder.
Rosalind says
Glad it’s helpful. Sometimes that’s just what we need. A reminder 🙂
Rosalind says
Wow, Ricky, I’m so impressed withwhat you do to keep yourself ‘happy’ and healthy. My hat’s off to you!
Raguraman B says
I have MS (7 years) & Arthritis. I feel safe if I follow a strict routine, Times to wake up, A’noon nap, Bed time plus a regimented diet (periodic) even visits to rest room is a routine and if I deviate from routine, I get restless.
Victim of routine, at least that keeps me mobile & work
Rosalind says
It sounds like you’ve figured out what matters most to you: feeling safe though routine. Do you find satisfaction in that?
Raguraman B says
Routine perfected in past years back after a series of mishaps, Now, I value mishap-less life and that makes pre-empting those in routine.
Example: Use Restroom before starting car for a drive(Untimely urgency sometimes lead to embarrassment in past). Copious water prevent headaches & Irritability(Peaceful @ office). Request Ramps in Office (Couple of falls lead to fracture(s) in past)
Ms. Rants says
My to do list is horrible. It’s long and it’s filled with things I really want to do but that I’ll probably never get to. I want to clean it out, but that’s just one more thing I haven’t been getting around to.
But I am proud of one thing regarding my to do list: I completely ignore it when I don’t feel well. On my bad days, I do only the bare minimum (pay the rent, call back my mom so she won’t worry) and ignore the rest. Whatever it is can wait until another day; my health comes first. Then on the good days I try to do more, but to not over do it. So far, this is the best approach.
But I still need to cut it down to a reasonable length 🙂
Rosalind says
Sounds like you’re on the right path. I think it’s a marathon, not a sprint 🙂
Gerry Fryer says
I’ve just finished a very good book by Peter Bregman called “18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done”.
He suggest picking 5 priorities – only – for your year. In his case they were
1. Do Great work with Current Clients
2. Attract Future Clients
3. Write/Speak about My Ideas
4. Self-Care
5. Be Present with Family/Friends
6. (The necessities of life which won’t go away)
It seems like a good way to organise timeand activities in a week and make sure that things are moving forward and balance is being achieved.
I’m thinking of using it in 2012!
Mary McKennell says
This is more in your defense than reponse to the article as a whole. Your website is not about pain issues. It’s about how to keep working despite chronic illness.
Rosalind says
Thanks, Mary. But I think it would be helpful for people living with pain to find resources here than can help them to keep working – and those resources, specific to pain, can be applied to any life situation. What do you think?
Rosalind says
Love anything that helps us move with clarity, with clear intention. Helps clear the messiness that’s inherent. Thanks for the info.
Sheila says
I keep my to-do list on paper & IF I find myself carrying over the same task for a while, I re-evaluate the need for it. Sometimes I tweak it and it gets done. Other times I drop it off my list! I love “Keep Working Girlfriend!”; i gave myself a copy and sent one to my friend with MS. Sometimes we’ve just got to buckle down and do it. It’s awesome that getting things done allows us the opportunity to work smarter instead of harder. I view my chronic illness as I would navigating a maze–it’s a challenge rather than an obstacle.