Even when the economy was thriving and there were more jobs than workers (remember those days?), most people described work as stressful. It meant fewer people doing more work, tighter deadlines. And worst of all, blurry lines between time at work and personal life.
The demands have only gotten worse in this recession.
A young woman, in her early 30’s, recently expressed to me her deep resistance to returning to work. After 6 months on disability leave, she said that she believes that working will make her sick again. She’s afraid that she won’t be able to stop tasks when the pain gets bad and that the inevitable pressure and unreasonable deadlines will aggravate her overall condition. She finished by saying that all of the people she knows are unhappy from the stress of their jobs.
I was surprised by her deep rooted fear and negative outlook, especially since there was much she enjoyed about her last job. Yet she doesn’t believe it’s possible to control her sense of stress or influence her workload. I was also struck that she doesn’t know anyone who is relatively happy in their jobs.
If her experience is that relatively young and healthy people feel stressed and unhappy at their jobs, how can someone who lives with unpredictable health find happiness at work? I don’t have an “answer”. But let’s explore it.
In Does Work Have You In A Stranglehold, Maggie Mistal offers 3 tips for breaking the stranglehold of work. This is useful because it challenges the way we view working. But her tips assume that a person can take charge of her time. What if you don’t see this is possible?
If you believe that you can’t influence how you work or how much you work, how will you survive of decades of working? If you agree with me that this doesn’t seem like a useful outlook, consider how you can develop your capacity to:
- Manage difficult situations before they blow out of control. It’s much easier to set limits and persuade a manager that you need to breaks or hard stops in the day while you’re still a valued worker, rather than after you’ve messed up.
- Identify your limits. Even if illness means you’re more limited in some ways, know what those limits are and be able to explain them – without anger or remorse.
- Create empathic relationships with others so they want to support you and work with you around your needs. But don’t stop there. Look beyond yourself and notice what others need as well, including your boss. You might be surprised by how healing this can be.
As I’ve written often, I believe that working is good for you (Does Working Help You Be Healthy?). It’s the premise of my book (Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working, Girlfriend!). I also work often with people who are looking for work so I know firsthand how hard it is to find jobs these days. But I have no doubt that if you don’t believe that you can work, you won’t find a job.
What do you think?
Judith Wilson Burkes says
I agree that if you don’t believe you can work, you cannot find or will be looking for a job.
But the situation I most find is that perhaps the person cannot return to the same kind of work they once did. Your blog today points to a common problem; a person who has been given no counseling, training or assistance in making the decision to return to work, ask for accommodations or perhaps reinvent themselves.
I have had to reinvent myself, but I did it slowly over a number of years. What I long for is a way to streamline the process and help the person realize they have options. You are doing your part by stressing the importance of work and how people can continue working by advocating for themselves. But what is there for the person who must truly change their job or career? Oftentimes, they are left to struggle and wander their way.
Thank you for always supporting people who have a desire to work. You are helping fill a void.
Rosalind says
Judith- I’m glad that my writing is useful. But I offer much more than supportive ideas. As a chronic illness career coach, I do much more – as do many others. My specialty is working with people living with illness and figuring out how to find a career they can still do. But there are many career specialists who go deeper than just resume writing and job search. When I reinvented myself due to illness challenges, so many times, I couldn’t find anyone who “got it” That’s why I do what I do- but there’s a whole world of career coaches out there.
Christina Gombar says
I do understand that young woman’s fear of returning to work, and at the same time agree with Rosalind’s philosophy that work is the best option.
Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, as they say, on all counts. Reinvented a too-stressful career, but didn’t pay enough money or benefits. Went back to work full time at the sanest possible company, worked with ADA, managers, setting limits, etc. — still got sick. It’s been a ten year slog to get my health even half-way up to pre-return to work levels.
Here’s a thought: President Obama has started many initiatives for getting the disabled back to work, including encouraging all branches of government to hire the disabled/differently abled. Let’s put them to the test and communicate how given a few accommodations, we can contribute rather than be a drain on the government.
Many large companies also advertise their willingness to hire the disabled/differently abled. The latter term best defines us with stellar skills, but cyclical health, who could well be accommodated by a telecommute. I found that most of the stress of work happens on-site.
Jason Reid says
I think that part of the problem stems from the rigidity that many organizations still have about work. Rather than concentrating on getting the work done, they obsess over how it should be done, leaving little room for flexibility on the part of the worker.
There has been much research done on companies who embrace flexible work arrangements and the increase in productivity that they see when they become less rigid.
The loss of productivity due to presenteeism is huge, but it doesn’t show up on the balance sheet, so it is easy for corporations to ignore.
Still, there are some companies that are more enlightened in this regard than others.
In addition to the great tips you have mentioned, I offer another. If you are applying to various companies for work, do a bit of research. Find out about their HR policies and options for flexible work. In Canada we publish a top 100 employers list which contains great information on what the company is like to work for.
While there is no guarantee you will land a job there, doing research like this is empowering. Knowing that the company you are applying to is employee-friendly may give you confidence that will show up in the interview and get you closer to being hired.
Rosalind says
I agree that different policy would make all the difference in the world. In fact, I’m working with others to get a research grant to study what interventions would help people stay at work. And on another project that will hopefully work with state agencies. But in the end, I don’t believe much will change on an institutional level and that’s why I work with individuals – trying to help them navigate this as best they can. It is a slog but it’s all we got!
Rosalind says
Great point, Jason. Unfortunately, a client worked at such a company and found her supervisor just wouldn’t comply and she was banging her head against walls. Time to move on but there were no other jobs. That’s the rubber hitting road. But all we can do is dust off our butts and move on. You are so right about the organizational beliefs and culture. It’s the place to start
Maggie Mistal says
Thanks for the link Rosalind. I’ve had career coaching clients with chronic illness and I’ve had some who got sick at just the thought of going back to work. In all cases, at the root of their anxiety and stress was a feeling that they weren’t capable of landing jobs anywhere else. They felt as if the employer had all the control. Rather than try to fight the system, in each case, we came up with strategies (some career, some financial, some mindset) to bolster their own personal security and power. If you’re not feeling powerful or strong, unfortunately you often attract a bad boss or bad work situation b/c you settle for less. Doubly unfortunate is that some bosses will even take advantage of your weakness. I see all of this more as an issue of personal power and how you are in the world than as an external problem people just have to suffer through. It’s a different perspective but one I thought I’d share.
Rosalind says
Maggie – Great reply. I’m not sure your perspective is so different. I believe wholewheartedly in the worth of personal belief and sense of power. But I also think that there are situations beyond our control. And that’s where the power lies – knowing what you can and can’t influence and knowing how to do it. These are skills that can take a lifetime to hone!
Kath Ibbetson says
It is now 15 years since I had to give up work because of MS. At first I did things to keep me busy, did a diploma in aromatherapy, a certificate in counseling and worked as a volunteer in the “Citizens Advice Bureau” ( A UK organisation that offers advice on ANY subject with regards to rights and regulations as a citizen of the UK)
I always loved work, and was lucky that I lived to work rather than working to live. Unfortunately, each time I had to give up due to illness. I miss the social contact of working with people, it’s very lonely being alone and I value any emails I receive form readers. Now I spend every day on the internet offering information about MS. Even this can get very hard.
So, in summary, yes I agree working is a good thing but we have to recognize that not everyone can do it.
Kath
Rosalind says
Great point, Kath. I don’t ever want to imply that I think everyone can work. But as you pointed out, you created work for yourself, even if it doesn’t earn you any money. At least it gives your purpose which is huge.And now I’ll be sure to email you comments about your terrific newsletter. Can you let people know here how to sign up for it?
kath ibbetson says
Sure, if you go to my site (www.avoiceforms.com) and fill in yoiur email address and name in the box that will give you a free report on Fatigue you will be on the list.
Even if you don’t want the report this is the best way to get on the list.
thanks
Kath
Maggie Mistal says
Looking forward to taking this conversation on air today 4-5p ET on my radio show, “Making a Living with Maggie” on SIRIUS 112/XM 157. Rosalind will be joining me as we have a friendly discussion about the best ways to gain control over how and how much you work. For more info on the show including a link to a free trial to listen in go to: http://www.maggiemistal.com/radio.htm
Also you are welcome to join the conversation by calling in at 866-675-6675. The thoughts shared here would be amazing to hear on air too. Thanks for doing the show from your vacation Rosalind! 🙂