There are just too many definitions for chronic illness to list ( google it for yourself) and many contradict each other.
But, no matter what the definition is, there’s one thing you can count on in unpredictable chronic illness world.
Living with chronic illness will affect your quality of life.
What makes me so sure? I’ve seen it daily — both in my life with illnesses, and professionally, as a career coach to those with illness.
In “Mugging Myself”, Psychology Today, Alida Brill writes how she “mugs” herself as she lives with MS. Been there, done that, I say. How about you? Do you get in your own way? Are you tripping over your own feet in spite of your best efforts to sail smoothly with illness?
It’s easy to understand why. But do you have to accept this? It’s unlikely you can can change the disease course. But Do you believe that you can change how you live with it?
If you’re saying, yes, here’s a starting point. I’ve seen 3 traps that too many people fall into. And I’ve worked with people to think about it differently and seen what works. Try this.
Ask yourself:
- Am I behaving as if living with a chronic illness is a sprint rather than a marathon? (Even with sprinters, it’s a marathon). If you are, you’re bound to run out of steam. Chronic illness requires patience and planning. It requires endurance. And, you need to live in a place of hope that you’ll make it to the finish line. Even if you can’t actually run a marathon, can you behave as if you are?
- Is there some part of me that lives in fear of being “stressed”? Anywhere you turn, the message is that stress is bad for chronic illness. But according to Dr. Esther Sternberg (Stress, Chronic Illness and You), stress can be good for you, too. Sure, avoid on-going toxic stress, when possible. But rather than focusing on what to avoid, put your energy toward managing the source of the stress and learning to live with the stress. Is managing the source and the stress a more pro active, empowering stance for you?
- Do I live life as fully as I can and allow myself to do the things that make me happy? Yes, symptoms can mean that you have to pare down. But you can still reach for those stars that will bring your fun and fulfillment. In Lemonade anyone?, I describe how a painful task created new opportunity. Start with setting desired outcomes – rather than unspecific goals. And create daily intentions to achieve them. Can you create lemonade for yourself?
But wait, you’re saying, I’m too stuck or too busy to think about this now. Really? That’s why this is the right time.
Unless you only work best on your own, ask for help (or pay for it). Find someone who will encourage you to get and stay on track. Yes, a chronic illness career coach is ideal (smile!) 
— or a life coach who knows about illness. But it can also be someone you know who understands what you’re up against.
Have you discovered ways to avoid these mind traps – or others?
Mary says
I definitely get into the second trap – fear of being stressed. I have noticed this during past year, and have been trying to come back to a more sensible approach. Sadly, I noticed that especially the pain management program to which I was sent is making this fear worse rather than better. They put a huge emphasis on stress management and specifically meditation. I tried my best to learn – 3 separate attempts at different techniques, 8-16 weeks of practice each – and got no noticeable results. Yet they keep telling me that the things I know reduce my stress levels – reading, puzzles, certain kinds of active exercise – are the not sufficient for relaxation, because they keep my brain involved, or put strain on my body.
I finally decided that I will keep going with things that actually work for me, rather than adding stress to my life by desperately trying the relaxation techniques, and then worrying about being unable to do it, and feeling like this causes my failures in managing both pain and stress.
James Kildare says
You are now talking health reform will be changed soon; we trust that Obama and his staff do what is necessary for the welfare of families. This reform must be appropriate because many families depend on it, the health system a long time that is weak and patients suffering from cancer, chronic fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, Parkinson’s, diabetes, chronic pain, chronic anxiety among many other diseases, Need proper medical attention, according to the measure should be findrxonline for 80% of patients with these diseases.
Jason David Reid says
I have been guilty of all of these traps over my 30 years with a chronic illness. I constantly have to guard against the sprint mentality as I am often impatient for results. I have learned the hard way that burning out can creep up on you quickly.
As to stress, I find it interesting. I actually find THINKING about the challenges of work when I’m NOT working more stressful than when I’m actually working. I think it’s because when I’m at work I’m actually feeling somewhat in control and doing something.
I also agree with Mary that trying desperately to control stress is counterproductive. There’s so much in this world we can’t control and so many ways we’re all different from others. I’m always trying different ways to balance work and health and follow what’s good for me. Of course, I’m also flexible enough to realize what’s good for me sometimes changes from year to year, month to month or day to day.
Finally, living life fully is really important to me. It’s a lesson I sometimes forget but always try to come back to. I have had the opportunity to do many amazing things in my life (comedy writing, playing in a rock band, studying at Cambridge University in England) because my illness made me realize I had to seize opportunity when I could.
Rosalind says
Hi Jason – Good to see you here, too! I couldn’t agree more about managing stress. I think we’ve place way to much focus on that word and given it the power. And, yes, it sounds as if you’ve lived your life while living with illness. It CAN be done.Thanks for sharing!
Charlie Wilson says
A Life Coach is sometimes very necessary so that we do not loose our way in our lives.`’`
Rosalind says
Life, career or any kind of coach is helpful when we are losing our way.
Maya Brooks says
one of the best things to incorporate with Stress Management is meditation and deep breating exercises.-~.
Michael Williams says
i had a mid-life crisis and what i needed was a life coach~:,
Rosalind says
What did you do? How did it go?
Rosie Khan says
you can do some personal stress management at home by practicing yoga-`,
Polyethylene : says
when we reach the middle age, that is the time that we may need a life coach to steer the direction of our lives`~:
prosfores says
I like this weblog so much, saved to my bookmarks. “I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.” by Dorothy Parker.