Deep in Thanksgiving cooking and I’m trying to modify the smashed sweet potatoes with apples recipe for 20. Wondering how I’ll fit it in the oven with the 26 lb turkey, mushroom/sausage stuffing, brussel sprouts with carmelized onions and almonds, and popovers?
At the same time, I’ve got my laptop in the kitchen and I’m trying to write this blog post about holidays and working with illness. And feeling stuck with both.
Then it came to me. Cooking and working share a similar role in my life. It’s not because I live with chronic illness but it’s affected my approach. The limits illness has imposed on my life has encouraged me to cultivate a certain skill set.
When I was in my early 40’s and very sick with ulcerative colitis, I decided that my diminished resources had to be spent wisely. I’d act with intention, trying to put my energy on tasks I love doing. I’d plan my actions as best I could, knowing that my life with illness is unpredictable.
So I continued to cook, even as I gave up other physically strenuous activities. Why? Because I love it. I enjoy thinking about recipes, making the dishes and giving my food to others. I cook for birthdays, religious holidays, New Years Eve and dinners for friends – you name it. I love doing it and it tires me. That’s okay.
And, I realized at that time how much I need and like working. Sure, I’ve had jobs I didn’t like and it’s taken time to figure out what I love to do. But I’ve learned that working can be a deep source of pleasure. Yes, it can be tiring but mostly it gives me “juice”.
Work and cooking, while living with pain and fatigue, require three essential ingredients:
- Start with careful strategy and detailed action planning. You need a conception for a menu or your career. You have to be able to identify and then implement the action steps and timeline to help you get there.
- Assemble a team to do what you don’t know how to do or can’t do alone. I use virtual assistants and other support to develop my business. When I cook, my husband pitches in to do errands and do a lot of the heavy lifting in the kitchen. And I hire help for the clean up.
- I try to build enough time for mistakes or illness into my schedule and still meet my deadlines. Sometimes, it’s not possible and you face disappointment – yours or others. This can be hard. But it’s part of the journey.
I’ve learned to accept less than perfect. I’d rather play in the sandbox than watch from the sidelines. I’ve learned to get pleasure from the process even more than the results.
Oh, where does my mother fit into this? She loved to cook but she wasn’t much for planning. I didn’t get my “planner” gene from her!
How are you approaching the holidays? Can you take pleasure in the doing?
Robin says
The secret to cooking successfully with MS is in this blog, having someone to help get things (I cannot grocery shop and cook same day, too exhausted) and hiring help for the cleanup (didn’t know this was possible?). When I cook, my pans sit for days in the sink until I have the energy to scrub them and lift them to do so. My dishes go immediately into the diswasher, though and my wine glasses get washed by hand in fear left to sit dirty, they might be knocked over and break. It is so frustrating to LOVE to cook as I do and no longer have help in the kitchen to not make it an exhausting task. Single people eat out for a reason….Happy Thanksgiving
Rosalind says
Robin – It does all depend on what your circumstance is. It seems like cooking doesn’t lead to success for you at all. I hope Thanksgiving felt like you had made good decisions for you.
Charlene says
I know exactly how you feel! What’s even more painful for me is that people assume because of my optimistic cheerful attitude that I’m being lazy when I stop or take a break because of the fatigue I’m experiencing. Great idea! I’m going to begin to hire someone to come into my household once a month to help me clean.
Nobody has a clue how truly exhausting the holidays are I just silently struggle and push praying that I don’t have an exasperation.
Rosalind says
I’m assuming you mean exacerbation — but then, it is also exasperating! If you can’t afford paying someone to clean, is there anything you can barter? Also – some people just have the cleaner do the heavy stuff to cut down on costs.
But no matter how you do it, it’s hard to say you’re tired or don’t feel well when you look fine. Keep practicing, though.
Staub dutch oven says
Take a cooking class of select some cooking catalogs. If you may be like I was, I had a challenging time even creating cookies, and that was a straightforward action by phase directions. This in fact is when I made the decision to go research abroad in Italy. I learned learn how to cook and came again together with the passion to master considerably more and extend my abilities. All it will take is you receiving available and taking a uncomplicated cooking type.
Joanne Gruskin (@JoanneLG) says
I’ve been fighting the good fight, trying to avoid migraines, for more years than I care to remember. Every day I seem to come up with another trigger, food being the most suspect. I avoid all the usual triggers, except coffee, something I’ve been having trouble giving up.
I’ve been working on a cookbook about feeding your dogs and your family with the same ingredients (http://www.peoplefoodforpets.com/). When I am in my cooking and recipe mode, my headaches miraculously go away. Every food on the list of foods that are a problem for dogs is a migraine trigger for me: aged cheese, alcohol, bananas, beer, caffeine, chickpeas, chocolate, citrus, corncobs, eggplant, garlic, ketchup, mushrooms, mustard seeds, onions, processed meats, raisins, raspberries, red grapes, red plums, soy sauce, tea, tomatoes, uncooked yeast dough, walnuts, wine.
I have no idea why it’s true, but when I eat like a dog, I don’t get migraines. Added to the list for me are: milk products, including all cheeses, cream, yogurt, sour cream, and butter, and artificial sweeteners.
I’m now into heavy-duty writing mode, not developing recipes and I’ve been lax about trying to eat like a dog. I’ve also been plagued by migraines.
Maybe I should come up with a new migraine diet and call it the canine connection
Rosalind says
I’ve never heard this diet: eating like a dog. I’ve heard of eating like a caveman, eating only what isn’t processed – but this is a great title. We have dogs/cats in our family and I have to tell you that if I ate like my cat, I’d probably die. He only likes to eat this dry food stuff that looks tasteless to me. And my dog (who recently died) ate anything that came within his reach and none of it bothered him (other than alcohol or chocolate). He loved uncooked yeast bread. It was the first thing he ever jumped up on the counter for when he was a 10 week old puppy and proceeded to barf it all up. But that didn’t stop him from wanting it again! His favorite food was anything outside on the ground — twigs, plants, garbage — and that always made him sick to his stomach. Of all of our dogs, he was the most outrageous eater but they’ve all been different in their tastes and I couldn’t generalize about it at all.
I get the idea and I know I’m working from a small sample but I’d hesitate to generalize about dogs and diets. Good luck with the diet, the migraines and the writing!