logo-inner
logo-inner
    
  • ciCoach

  • Menu
  • Home
  • Meet Rosalind
    • Why This?
    • About Rosalind
    • Ask Me Anything
    • Press Coverage
    • Testimonials
  • Work With Me
    • Customized Coaching
    • Just In Time Career Coaching
    • Kickstart Your Career
    • Career Change When Living With Chronic Illness
    • Speaking/Workshops
  • Resources
    • Free Resources
    • The Guidebook Series
    • The Keep Working Workbook
    • The Book
  • Newsletter
  • Contact

Fibro: Living with disease and the sceptics

June 24, 2009 by Rosalind Joffe 2 Comments

When I read a blog post (Fibromyalgia Negative Press) —  citing a newspaper columnist’s remark about people with Fibro who want to collect a government check and pop pills  (Random Nonsense ) —   I thought:  I’m glad I live with multiple sclerosis!

After several weeks of deep pain and fatigue, I’m actually grateful to live with a disease that people believe exists.  I mean, I could have fibromyalgia or CFS!   Not only would I have these miserable symptoms but people would doubt me.  Worse they might label me lazy or crazy.

When I told my neurologist about the recent “flare” in symptoms,  she suggested an MRI to see if there might be new MS activity. Because it’s MS and there are tests that show disease,  I can be confident that my healthcare providers all agree on this point.

But my client withfFibromyalgia, who is a senior executive,  finds that although her rheumatology doctor fully supports her, her other physicians seem sceptical about the diagnosis.  And she never mentions it to her colleagues because of the odd reactions she’s gotten.

I’m tired of the demeaning remarks about people with Fibromyalgia.  The common thinking is that this isn’t a ‘real illness’.  I’ve heard all kinds of people say that fibromyalgia people are depressed, difficult, even a little crazy.  I’ve heard healthcare professionals say that Fibro patients are their toughest. Others say that there’s a “Fibro” type who doesn’t seem to want to help her/him self.

What’s up with this?  Maybe it’s a chicken and egg thing.  If you haven’t lived with invisible, unpredictable and waxing & waning chronic illness  -pain, fatigue, mental issues – you don’t know how crazy making it can make even the sanest person.

When I’m not well, I’m not the same person that I am when I am well (just ask my husband, my kids, the people who work for me!).  When I have symptoms that don’t improve quickly,  I can lose hope and feel depressed.  When I see a doctor who tells me that I’m difficult to treat because I don’t get better quickly, I want to scream.  I know I become a more irritable and difficult patient.

I imagine I’m better able to manage my responses better than most, due to my training and what I do for a living.  But my symptoms derive from ‘recognized’ diseases with objective findings.   It would be that much more difficult to confront a world that doesn’t believe my symptoms are “real”.

As it happens, for some completely inexplicable reason (certainly not due to a change in wet weather), I woke up two days ago feeling much better.  The back pain is still there but improving and the fatigue and heaviness are gone.  I’m grateful both to feel better and to know that no one doubted that my symptoms were due to some underlying disease state.  At least, not that they said 🙂

What do you do when you face the sceptic? Have you experienced people at work who think you’re trying to get  out of work by “faking” it or making a big deal out of nothing?  Or who don’t even believe that what you’re living with is “real”?  Share it.

Filed Under: Attitude, Musings on LIfe with Chronic Illness, Talking about it

About Rosalind Joffe

Comments

  1. Nancy says

    May 3, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this! As someone who suffers from FMS & CFS, I appreciate you voicing your opinion on this topic. I’ve reached a point that I try hard to not let it get under my skin as much as it used to. Of course, it is still hard to deal with skeptics, or what I consider…ignorant people, but there will always be people like that.

    I’m very fortunate to have a team of healthcare providers who understand and are educated on FMS and CFS, and support me in every way they can. My family and closest friends have been awesome as well. Of course there has been an educational period for everyone, including myself. The people that matter most, are the ones who have taken the time to try and understand my illnesses, and that shows me how much they care. I don’t have time for those who stand judging, but have never walked a day in my shoes. I give them a day, and they’d change their tune pretty quick 😉

    Thanks again, loved your post.

    (((gentle hugs)))

    Nancy

  2. Rosalind says

    May 4, 2010 at 8:55 am

    So glad this resonates for you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to our
weekly "Working with Chronic Illness" Newsletter
AND
Receive a FREE report
"Chronic Illness at Work – Career Success IS Possible."

subscribenow

 

Recent Posts

  • Whose shoulders do you stand on while living with illness?
  • Are You Talking About Mental Illness?
  • Are You Feeling Desperate for a Diagnosis?
  • Is this new job market good for us, the chronically ill?
  • How Are You Doing Talking About Illness?

Categories

  • Attitude
  • BOOK – Women Work and Autoimmune Disease
  • Career Development
  • Health Info
  • Job hunting
  • Musings on LIfe with Chronic Illness
  • Starting a business
  • Talking about it
  • Uncategorized
  • Working for others
  • Working with chronic illness
  • Young with Health Problems
Rosalind Joffe

rosalind@cicoach.com

617.969.1930
How can I help you?
I specialize in working with professionals living with chronic health conditions who want to continue to thrive, not just survive. Learn more by clicking here.
Women, Work and
Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working Girlfriend!

by Rosalind Joffe
with Joan Friedlander
© 2025 Rosalind Joffe, ciCoach | Photograph by Meri Bond