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Will you be a 'contender?

January 8, 2009 by Rosalind Joffe 3 Comments

Chronic illness can break your will. It can also show you how resilient you really are. But don’t you think that’s true of any of life’s challenges?

“You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.”

Sorry, Terry, but I don’t think you would have been a contender. Not as long as you stayed stuck in blame.

Poverty, bad people, illness, any loss . . can make you a victim. But the question is: are you going to stay the victim?

A recent report in Lancet describes themes that reveal a person’s ability to adjust psychologically to chronic illness. It suggests that you can promote adjustment by doing the following:

  1. Remain as active as is reasonably possible
  2. Acknowledge and express their emotions in a way that allows them to take control of their lives
  3. Engage in self-management
  4. Try to focus on potential positive outcomes of their illness

None of the above are easy to do for most people. Most of us sink just a little when we face a challenge, especially one which is chronic and unpredictable. For those who are born with a “can do”, hopeful and resilient attitude, life with just be that much easier. It”s not that they hit fewer bumps but it’s how they ride them.

But you can learn to think differently about this. You can train your mind to respond with belief in your self and your ability to be more. Terry , the boxer in “On the Waterfront”, faced chronic poverty with self pity.

How about you? How are you adjusting?

Filed Under: Attitude, Career Development, Musings on LIfe with Chronic Illness, Talking about it

About Rosalind Joffe

Comments

  1. Christina Gombar says

    January 9, 2009 at 11:05 am

    How’m I doin’? — as Mayor Koch used to say. I shudder when I remember those first weeks, months years of Extreme Illness, accompanied by fear, confusion, depression. When I had a bad attack, I was afraid I’d stay that way forever — like some people with my condition do. Fortunately, I’m one of those people who can get up off the mat after a knock-down.

    Over the nearly 20 years I’ve dealt with my ci,I’ve learned that I have nothing to fear but fear itself. The worst thing to do is react with a panicked “Oh, God, I’m getting sick from working!” Instead tell myself — O.K. — I’ve had dips before — if I pace the work and chores, put off everything unecessary till next week, just focus on the things I must do this week, and take lots of down time and self-care – this will pass. My relapses usually come from self-neglect — I have so many food allergies it’s sometimes easier to skip a meal and just eat a health bar — if I can identify why I had a relapse, it helps tone down the panic.

    The fear cycle just makes it all worse. Do the necessary thing, eat well if I can, take some enjoyable rest, like lying down and listening to a meditation tape, or looking at a calming movie, instead of getting through the to do list. And definitely don’t try to do something like straighten out bills on the phone!

  2. randy moss titans says

    November 4, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    How’m I doin’? — as Mayor Koch used to say. I shudder when I remember those first weeks, months years of Extreme Illness, accompanied by fear, confusion, depression. When I had a bad attack, I was afraid I’d stay that way forever — like some people with my condition do. Fortunately, I’m one of those people who can get up off the mat after a knock-down.

    Over the nearly 20 years I’ve dealt with my ci,I’ve learned that I have nothing to fear but fear itself. The worst thing to do is react with a panicked “Oh, God, I’m getting sick from working!” Instead tell myself — O.K. — I’ve had dips before — if I pace the work and chores, put off everything unecessary till next week, just focus on the things I must do this week, and take lots of down time and self-care – this will pass. My relapses usually come from self-neglect — I have so many food allergies it’s sometimes easier to skip a meal and just eat a health bar — if I can identify why I had a relapse, it helps tone down the panic.

    The fear cycle just makes it all worse. Do the necessary thing, eat well if I can, take some enjoyable rest, like lying down and listening to a meditation tape, or looking at a calming movie, instead of getting through the to do list. And definitely don’t try to do something like straighten out bills on the phone!

  3. Literary Classics says

    November 30, 2010 at 2:21 am

    Your Site is excellent. I will bookmark it.

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