But don’t be fooled. It’s not as sweet as it looks.
Do you day dream about quitting your jobso you’re not always torn in 10 directions from the pressures of personal commitments, work demands and a sick body? Are you always behind — feeling you’ve never done enough — because of this chronic illness?
Do you wish you could give 110%– as you used to ? And since you can’t, you can’t see a reason to go on giving anything? I did.
But when I stopped working and went on disability, I not only filled my time with other things, I missed working more than I ever thought possible. Working helped me feel normal, distracted me from my sick body and gave me an income that I valued and needed.
I described this in the chapter, Why You Should Keep Working, from my soon to be released book, Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease: Keep Working, Girlfriend, (do I hear drumbeats?) :
“If quitting the workforce were to become a reality, the decision would most likely bring a strong sense of relief and even hopeful anticipation as you considered the possibilities. But as time marched on, these emotions might fade, replaced by an insidious fear that you would never be able to work again. This fear could expand into a feeling of being financially vulnerable, unable to support yourself without assistance ever again. Ultimately, it could lead to a sense of feeling trapped.
Wow! That’s not a pretty picture. It’s certainly not an inevitable outcome, but sadly, it’s a common scenario. That’s why we’ve written this book for those who are still employed but dream—innocently and perhaps inaccurately—about the alternative. We encourage you to keep working, girlfriends.”
In a recent post in this blog, WorkingWithChronicIllness , I wrote about a wellness benefit that could make a critical and career saving difference for people who live with chronic illneess. Career coaching for people living with chronic illness should be considered an employee “wellness” benefit. Is this something that you’ve thought about? Who would you suggest it to at work?
Rosalind
Sherry says
Hi Rosalind,
I agree with your thought ‘Career Coaching for people living with chronic illness should be considered an employee wellness benefit. I also believe we, our country, focus on unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others in the work force. The stress to perform at these unrealistic levels is part of the reason people believe if you have an illness you are not going to get the work done, after all it is hard enough when you are well. I don’t believe illness, like any difference makes a persons contribution less. The difference can bring an insight that will improve how and what is being done. Working smarter becomes a way of thinking and doing. This can benefit an employer, they just have to give the employee the opportunity to make the adjustments and your idea of coaching as a wellness benefit is a good idea.
Rosalind says
Hi Sherry – You said it so well. In the end, it’s going to be up to us, with chronic illness, to make the case. Have you tried anything that you can share here? Rosalind
Sherry says
The biggest complaint is will you be-able to perform your work, get the job done. As a person is adjusting to their illness often the answer is ‘I don’t know or no’. When the reality is often, ‘yes and here is how I’ll get the job done’. I find that before the question is answered thought and exploring possibilities is needed. Once you begin the path of possibilities the dialogue becomes a solution instead of a problem. Shifting the focus to new ways of accomplishing what needs to happen and setting attainable goals is the idea I work to share. How to reaching people before they say no is the question. And also how do we reach and help employers understand the question can be how can we work together to keep your valuable service to our company.
Shauna says
Hi gals!
I am finally going to take THE step of finding a full-time job, and finally getting benefits, medical insurace which I haven’t had since I lost my COBRA. About 2 years now. Some of the meds I take are not covered by the Patient Assistance Programs, presently I like my Anti-D and Neuropathology med are.
To go and interview for jobs makes me feel terrified, anxious, nervous, self-esteem (up and down), have edematous feet and lower extremities all full of fluid, it is 4 pitting. More like pitting 20 ! It’s gone down since starting Lasix 40 BID x 4 days, then to 40 mgs q am. Even with all that. and seriously changing my fluid intake, my feet are still fat, oh so sore, to the touch, or if something brushes against them, it’s agony. I know what outfits I want to wear for interviews, but fluffy blue slippers don’t look the best. My shoes will not FIT on my feet. Do I go and get some just for now even though I know it is not my regular size? (Hey! Payless!)
Have an amazing day! It is gorgeous here in CA!!! 😉
Rosalind says
Shauna- I have neuropathy so most shoes hurt and I’ve always loved great looking shoes. I wear pants so my shoes aren’t as obvious – and find that Merrill shoes are pretty comfortable and wide. Don’t try to fit into something that hurts – you won’t be your “best” when you interview and that’s more important than you r feet looking good. Yeah for sun in CA! It’s dark and bleak weather in MA! Rosalind