I’d take a guess that if you’re reading this, you live with some chronic issue – pain, fatigue, limbs or brain that doesn’t work right. Have you noticed how often people leave a conversation with, “Happy Thanksgiving”? Probably more times than you can count.
I know I find myself doing it.
Then, a client told me how she’s sick of it. She wants to shoot back, “Yeah, for you maybe – I feel lousy and don’t even want to show up.” The good news is that we got to talk about this before she said it to someone who didn’t understand – such as a client (she’s an insurance agent).
This is what a coach calls a teaching moment. I asked what she could do to feel good about herself without doing something she’d have to apologize for. She came up with a “mental” sign, for herself, saying, “Stop telling me to be HAPPY!”
Next week, I’ll be posting on the November Pain Blog Carnival (click here to learn more) and the topic will be thankfullness.
Won’t you share your thoughts so I have your ideas?  Click to comment (if you click on the link at the top, you’ll get to the blog — then click on comment.
What are you thankful for? Or does it all feel like BAH HUMBUG?
Rosalind
ErinM says
I want to say it feels like BAH HUMBUG!! But deep down, I know that’s not true.
I’m thankful for my husband who supports me unconditionally. I’m happy that we have a great life together and are finally headed down the right road.
There are other things I’m thankful for, but that’s the first that comes to mind.
Joan Friedlander says
I remember Thanksgivings of past when I felt really crappy and went to family dinners anyway, only to have to sit very quietly and do everything possible to keep warm and still so my body wouldn’t send me to the bathroom. I remember a year I almost didn’t go. I remember not wanting to go and I also remember concerned family members. They were very understanding but there was something about the whole thing that made me feel angry.
I still don’t love all this holiday stuff, even in wellness. There is some kind of cultural requirement to celebrate with very few real choices about how to do so. My son is a vegetarian so turkey is out. My parents are now the ones feeling a little less than cheery. Wouldn’t it be interesting to find other ways to celebrate this day that still enables us to appreciate the community of people that we belong to, even if we don’t “celebrate?”
This year on Thanksgiving day my son will be with his friends, my parents by themselves and my husband and I will make turkey. We may see my parents on a different day (we’ve agreed the traffic on Thanksgiving isn’t worth it), and share leftovers with friends on Saturday.
I’m thankful for choice – in illness and in health – for the people in my life and for my health today.
Joan
Rosalind says
And I say, hooray for being able to listen to ourselves and say thank you. Even in the midst of the pain. Rosalind
edwina says
i also have trouble trying to be ‘cheery’ this holiday season,
i feel lousy and i just lost my dear mother in september-
but i also know in my heart that i really do have more blessings than bad things in my life,
and thats what i try and focus on.
it really, really could be much worse for all of us.
Rosalind says
HI Edwina – Just noticed your post and wishing you peace. Sometimes we just have to feel the sadness… so it doesn’t get stuck there.