Louise, who was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis at age 21, shared her journey with me. Her first doctor tended to minimize her suffering, telling her it wasn’t so bad. She thought he was nuts but didn’t speak up for herself. When her chiropractor referred her to an allergist a couple of years later she was reluctant to see him as she’d become accustomed to the pain and the diagnosis, and couldn’t fathom life without pain killers. But she went anyway. After 7 hours of testing the allergist determined she’d developed allergic sensitivity to all but 6 foods! When she received the recommended diet plan she was furious and scared: she didn’t eat for two days. But she finally surrendered, and this fireball, AAA personality in her mid-twenties ate at home for over a year because it was the only way she could be sure to eat only what was good for her while she slow integrated foods back into her life. Her unrelenting commitment to this regime was spurred by her immediate relief from pain within 3 days of starting on this strict diet.
Louise never stopped working; it was never a question. She slowed down when her body demanded it, but she has always returned to work as soon as possible. She was raised on a strong work ethic and was independent and out on her own at 18. However, as she became more attuned to her body’s rhythms and needs, as well as to what her heart wanted, she made career adjustments that were better aligned with her true career interests and ability to manage her well-being.
I asked Louise if she felt blessed or cursed; for the first couple of years she admits feeling cursed but she’s come to see her illness as a blessing. Prior to being ill she had very little regard for her body and her mortality. Now she appreciates the awareness and self-care habits that her illness has required of her. In addition, whereas before she tended to put doctors on pedestals, she now knows that doctors are as imperfect as the next human being, which has caused her to take responsibility for her life and her well-being.
I think Louise (name changed to protect her privacy) is like most of us here. We’re a bit like cats. No matter what life throws at us we eventually end up on our feet, even if it’s only to become a little smarter and more appreciative of life.
Joan
Diana says
Dear Joan and Louise,
Thank you for this post. I hope Louise will join our community; indeed, we share many of the experiences she has endured.
You are very brave and strong, Louise. I had the blessing of many years of adulthood before my pancreatic pain became chronic and debilitating at 38. I doubt I would have had the poise and self-reliance to deal with this and to develop a career in my twenties; I give you a great deal of credit.
Reaching out to others has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. I left home at 18, too. I am fiercely independent and introverted. I am lucky to have a wonderful chronic illness coach who has encouraged me to get involved in new activities that have helped shift my focus from my pain. The balance this is creating in my life is critical for me in keeping my career.
I love the analogy to cats! In addition to landing on our feet, we have the cat-like ability to deeply enjoy a good rest.
With warmest regards,
Diana