What do Fannie Lou Hamer and I have in common? We both know what it’s like to be, sick and tired of being sick and tired. In fact, she said it first, made it famous and it’sengraved on her tombstone.
I’ll start with why I said this (not knowing it was already a famous line). Last week, I was in bed for two days, unable to eat or stop sleeping. Within 48 hours, I was fine but I’ve had 4 colds & viruses since early November. And that comes after 6 months of being on the ‘disabled list’ from a massive renal cyst that left me seasick with nausea and a broken metatarsal that kept me off my feet. And that comes after… It’s a long list.
When I found myself whining to the only beings who would listen, Charlotte the dog and Bodhi the cat, and they told me to quit it, I wondered, “Fine. But how?”
Then I happened to see this quote in an article. Who was this person who voiced my thoughts?
Growing up in the U.S. in the 1960’s, I heard of Fannie Lou Hamer . She was a Black woman who lived in the South in mid 20th century America. A civil rights activist, she was arrested on false charges and beaten to near death, leaving her with psychological and physical suffering the rest of her life. But she didn’t let the suffering stop her. In fact, her own pain seemed to inspire her to push for change and she used her story to move others. For a sense of this woman’s soul, listen to her music, The Songs My Mother Taught me.
I spent a few hours soaking up her quotes, reading what she said and listening to her music. It got me out of my pity party. I’m still tired of being sick and tired but I don’t feel as SICK about it.
What stops you from hanging out at the ‘whine’ bar?
Amy says
I too, am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Thank you for this article and your website. i am a mother of four, and working, and have had multiple autoimmune diseases, and I work my hardest, and do my best. but my supervisor has been harassing me for missing work. I have FMLA intermittent leave because she wrote me up for missing work. Now she is harassing me about my productivity. I am so stressed at work, that I know it effects my work performance, and my it effects my health. Getting a new job, is easily said, but not easily accomplished. I don’t have a degree. I had to file a hardship in 2011 after 3 hospitalizations. I always said I will finish one day, but one day hasn’t come yet. I was open with my boss about my health when she hired me, I was on medical leave in fact when she hired me, following surgery. I thought all my problems were gone, when I had my colon removed due to Ulcerative Colitis. I was very wrong. It still attacks my joints. it causes inflammation of my inner Ear’s which gives me chronic vertigo that flares whenever it wants to. It started attacking my skin around my stoma, known as peristomal pyoderma gangrensom. Which is another name for flesh eating disease. It is rare, and even more rare to have around my stoma, and it took a long time to even find a Dr. to treat it, and it just kept growing in the meantime. Now I have my bladder flaring from Interstitial cystitis, and when you say you have lost bladder control in public, I have opposite problem. I don’t have control either, but I cant pee, and the pain is sometimes unbearable, but I still work, but my efforts are not appreciated. I am ridiculed, and my complaints to my Manager, fall on deaf ears. My requests to transfer to a different department, are always met with “oh that is still pending”. My complaints to HR, are met with, “we will notify your manager.” yea, she already knows, and has done nothing in past 5 months. I heart breakingly hear my manager comfort my coworkers. One has cancer, other one had a husband in the hospital. Don’t get me wrong they deserve to be comforted. But it is like oh cancer, oh, no, i am so sorry, well don’t stress about work, let me know if there is anything I can do for you. …..verses oh you have to leave again because your vertigo is flaring up, and you are dizzy and cant work on your computer? Well that is going to be an unscheduled occurrence, you know if you have more than 3 unscheduled occurrences, you will be written up again. ” Nobody wants to help you when you say you are chronically ill, with some bizarre autoimmune diseases that nobody has heard of. I am seen as lazy, and unwilling to participate, and always calling out which effects my department’s productivity.
I am feeling sorry for myself, no. I am stating facts. I have no financial means to start my own business, or get a lawyer to fight my bosses for mistreating me. I’m applying for jobs and not getting any call backs. I already took a pay cut when I took this job I have, I have wracked up medical bills, and every time I get close to paying them off, I get sick again, and more bills come in. My family and I have not been on a vacation in 5 years, because we cant afford it. We work, to pay bills, and buy medicine.
I’m sick and tired of fighting, I’m sick and tired of feeling like I am a terrible person becaus I am sick. I am tired of being punished for missing work. I am sick and I am tired of being sick and tired.
Rosalind says
Dear Amy – Your facts are too common and sadly, too often the case. Of course you’re sick and tired of this. I hear your frustration that your supervisors have empathy for people wtih cancer. I think some of it is that esveryone can relate to it — and they’re empathizing with what is usuallly time limited. Your health challenges are on going and much more difficult to understand. Have you read my information on ‘talking about it’? There are some posts, my book and a booklet on this very topic that you might find useful.
Regarding whether you can afford to get the legal help you need, many states have legal aid that often includes a special unit for disability discrimination. Have you looked into that? The problem is that it all takes energy to find the resources but it sounds like you’re running out of options to keep looking for new jobs. I wish I had more suggestions but it is a very difficult road. I understand. Warmly, Rosalind