Recently I experienced, yet again, how hard it is to work and live with waxing/waning chronic illness.
And this just reinforces why I think that that working is the smartest thing I can do for myself.
When we traveled to California to visit friends, I knew it would tire me. The time change and long flight are always hard for me.
But I know I need fun, even if it costs. We had a great time and I came back very tired.
I had a business trip to NYC two days later. The project involved being interviewed about the challenges of working with a chronic illness. And it would be videotaped.
I knew this wouldn’t be an easy trip either. There was pain in my back and feet (typical MS stuff) and my husband, Jake, wouldn’t be there to pull the suitcase/laptop. And a chalazia in my eye (like a stye) wasn’t improving.
Wouldn’t you know? The day before the taping my eye became infected. When throbbing pain in my eye woke me during the night, I gasped when I looked in the mirror. My eye was angry red, only partially opened and that side of my face was swollen.
I was up a lot that night, feeling really sorry for myself and … feeling sorry for myself.
The good news is I didn’t panic in the light of day. I realized I would get through this somehow. Make up hid it well enough so it wasn’t noticeable. I laughed when I was on the set about how I looked and acted like it was no big deal. Others laughed with me– and acted like it was no big deal either. I enjoyed myself that day immensely. Luckily the work was really interesting. I completely forgot about how painful my eye actually was!
Here’s the kicker. When my husband met me at the train that night, I did something I’ve never done before I told him I needed him to tell me how badly he felt for me. And that he was proud of me for getting through it.
And he did just that.That felt good.
What do you do when you think you can’t go on but you also think you have to? What do you do for yourself when you’ve used everything you’ve got just to get the job done?
I’d like to hear it – -and so would others.
Do you want to talk with others about this? I’ve created a cicoach.com facebook (click here) discussion page for just these topics. You don’t have to friend me — or even be “on facebook” to join. Or paste this into your browser: http://www.snipurl.com/cicoachfbwelcome